How NOT to set up a Website

I am not very tech savvy, and until two years ago I barely knew what social media was. I think I was born in the wrong century. Except for the requirement to wear very unpractical clothes, and the complete lack of rights for women, I think I would have been much more at home in the 1700 or 1800's.

But . . . since I live and (more importantly) write in the 21st century, I've had to knuckle down and learn how to live with computer based social media (as opposed to going out and having a chat, face to face).  I hate to admit it, but I actually find myself a little enamoured with Twitter (though I’m not setting any records for number of tweets or followers). However, it’s still an uncomfortable coexistence I have with ‘tech’. For those of you as technologically challenged as myself, here are some things you DON'T want to do if you are thinking of setting up a website. Of course, they are also all of things I actually did do.

1. Mere moments before your debut novel is published find a talented web designer to build you a shiny website and then ignore all of his wise advice about how to manage it.
2. Especially ignore web designer’s advice about recommended web hosts and instead choose the cheapest host and click the box to say you have read the terms and conditions of agreement without reading even one of said terms and conditions.
3. Start blogging with gusto, writing about absolutely nothing regularly for three weeks, and then don’t post anything for the next two year.
4. Ignore emails from dodgy web host telling you that bad things are happening with your site. After all, it is difficult to know which warnings are real and which are spam with so many daily emails from them.
5. Get distracted with debut novel’s publication and all of the exciting news that happens.  Do not post one bit of any of this good news on your site.
6. In fact, never log into site at all, and forget all passwords or how to update anything at all.
7. Realise that it is mere moments before your second book is due to be published. Try to amend all of your mistakes, at which point you find the bad things happening to your shiny website are too late to fix.
8. Also discover that the super cheap price for web hosting two years ago was only for the first two years, and is now going to cost you a small fortune. Oh, and this small fortune will be taken from your credit card because you have already agreed to this.
9. Panic, and do nothing for a month. Hope that it is all a bad dream.
10. Say good-bye to your shiny website. Resign yourself to starting all over again—with a not so shiny site. It might not be as pretty, but vow that you WILL take care of this time.